In Her Highness's Secret Service
by David-ism
Summary: "Part of the Guardian of Equestria Continuum" Ponies are being killed for their cutie marks, and it's up to Canterlot's greatest Secret Agent to solve the mystery, as the hours count down to a terrible and frightening calamity.


_2 Days Before The Other World Gate Opens._  
>8:21am<p>

The skies over Yodel Heights were surprisingly clear today. The sort of clear that can only happen when the weather service is doing its job properly; and today, aside from the fact that she had to be called out, it would have been a damn near perfect day.

"Well aren't you a snazzy one." came the voice of a pony trotting up to her. "I almost took you for a celebrity, what with those sunglasses."

"And you are?" she asked as she trotted forward to match pace with the police-pony.

"Green Leaf, I'm the acting Chief of Police till the next one takes office in a couple of weeks." he said giving her the once over, "didn't catch your name hot stuff."

"Kiss my ass Green Leaf." she said, using a hoof to push the black framed sun-shades more securely into place, while the other pony simply chortled.

"Come on now," said the officer, "you government Wranglers have no sense of humor."

Following Officer Green Leaf down a small embankment, she shook some of her golden main out of her face to get a better look at her footing. "I wasn't aware that I needed a sense of humor to do my job."

"Well, I reckon not." said Green Leaf, "and if you haven't had a laugh yet, then this mess down here sure as horse-apples ain't funny."

Directly at the bottom of the embankment was a small creek that ran along the fields, and laying on its side, dead and bloated was a pony.

The breeze must have been blowing the other way, because it wasn't until the two of them arrived that the stench suddenly affected them both. She could see that Officer Leaf was trying not to barf; and not doing a good job of it.

"Who is he?" she asked, bringing a hoof up to her nose.

"His name was Lucky Clover." said the officer, clearing his throat and coughing again.

_Well I guess he wasn't very lucky after all was he?_, she thought.

"We probably wouldn't have even bothered to notify the Wrangler's Office, if it wasn't for the fact that he's got no cutie mark." said Green Leaf, pointing with his hoof. "Which makes this too suspicious to be natural causes, or some sort of accident."

"What's wrong Green Leaf?" She said walking around to examine the corpse's flank. "Don't ponies normally lose their cutie marks when they drop over dead for no damn reason?"

"Not in my jurisdiction, they don't." He said giving her the once over. "Where exactly did you say you were from?"

"I didn't." She said, looking around and finally pushing the sunglasses up over her forehead, but looking away before Green Leaf could get a proper look at her face.

"Have you been able to determine if there had been any trauma, or signs of a struggle?" she asked, running through a few scenarios as she observed the location of the body.

Shaking his head, "we figured it was most likely heat exhaustion or a heart attack, till one of the officers noticed his cutie mark missing." Green Leaf was obviously not thinking the same train of thought as the special agent.

"But like I said before, missing a cutie mark is cause for alarm, and something I didn't want to ignore." he said slightly defiantly.

"Where's the pony that found him?" She asked.

"That would be one of the Juniper colts." Green Leaf said. "He found the body early this morning on his way to go berry picking. I had officer Crumple take him home after we got his statement."

"What did you say your name was again Miss?" asked Green Leaf.

Finally turning to look him in the face, her two wings shuffled under her trench coat. "I'm Special Agent Derpy Hooves." she said coldly, and Green Leaf could tell, that she wasn't the sort of pony that was particularly fond of giving out information, or answering questions.

She was looking directly at him, and he noticed that one of her eyes was somewhat askew, no doubt something from birth, but never the less it gave her a puzzling expression even behind the inner anger she obviously had for local enforcers.

"I need every piece of evidence you think you've found, and then I want even more than _that_ combed from this area." she barked at Green Leaf. "I'll be having some ponies from the Wrangler's Office come for the corpse."

"So then, this is a murder?" said Green Leaf out loud.

"Did I say this was a murder?" asked Derpy.

"I beg yer pardon?" said Green Leaf, not entirely sure he followed.

"This isn't a murder." she said flatly. "This is nothing."

"I don't understand."

Letting out a heavy sigh, Derpy walked up close to the officer. "Let me put it to you like this Green Leaf, so that even a dumb hick cop like you can follow what I'm saying."

"Now, do you know why there hasn't been a single recorded murder in all of Equestria for the past one hundred and eighty years?" she said, "or why thousands of little towns all over this planet are safe at night when the ponies there turn off their lights?"

"Well, I..."

"It's because there are no murders! Because if there were any, then some-pony like me would have to be called, and then a thousand and one little things would have to be corrected, and fixed, and slack-jawed dip-shit locals like you would have to be hammered until nothing but their name and the sound of sucking air was heard from them about the matter ever again."

Green Leaf was slowly backing up, as Derpy moved in close to him. "All, so the ponies of Equestria can sleep peaceful at night, and never have to worry about the monsters that I don't get to tell them about."

Like a flash, Derpy executed a round-house kick and swept Green Leaf off of his legs. Once he was down, she brought her right hoof down onto his neck sending him into a black unconsciousness.

"Stupid ignorant bastard." Derpy spewed as she retrieved a bag of pills from her trench coat, shoving one into Green Leaf's mouth. "You should've known when to just shut the hell up."

Sitting back on her haunches, she pulled a metal medallion from around her neck, and tapped it with her hoof. "Central. This is Hooves, I need a sweep team at Yodel Heights asap, and you might want to alert the Princess. We've just had our third confirmed victim."

"Copy that Special Agent; we'll relay the message now."

Looking back over the corpse, Derpy felt the familiar thrill of the hunt kick in again, and knew that despite how long it would take, she would find the pony responsible for this, and bring him to justice. _Oh yes,_ She thought. _Justice would be served._

_12:08pm_

The government hospital in Canterlot was busier than normal as Derpy rustled her way through the lobby and onto the escalator to the lower levels. Still wearing her sunglasses it was important that even the ponies that could recognize her didn't, as her cover in Ponyville would be obviously blown.

Only a handful of ponies even knew that she was an agent for the Wranglers, and Derpy liked keeping it that way.

Down below was the morgue of the hospital, and it always un-nerved her that hospitals reserved the lowest darkest point of the place to be occupied by cadavers and the deceased.

Twin double swinging doors marked "Morgue" opened and a pony Derpy recognized as Dr Sprint emerged frowning. "Hey Agent Hooves." he said walking past her.

"Is he in there?" Derpy asked.

"Yeah, but he's in one of his pissy moods again." came the distinctive down-under accented reply.

Frowning, Derpy walked through the double doors, and could hear Barnes barking at his team members.

"Run the test again." Derpy heard him say as she rounded a workstation and came up behind three ponies gathered around an examination table.

"We've already ran the test three times Barnes." said Hoofman, "The tests indicate that it's Lyme disease."

Looking up from his sample taking, Barnes turned his gaze to Derpy as she stopped a few feet away. "Ah, Agent Hooves. It's always a pleasure when the feds invade my sanctum and make unbelievably boring demands of my time." then turning back to Hoofman and a female pony that everyone just called Thirteen, he said. "It's never Lyme Disease. Run the tests again, and this time why don't the two of you check for mosquito bites on the patient's legs and signs of swelling."

Hoofman scoffed, "We gave the patient a full work up when they got here."

"I assume you took the patient's weight and measurements?" said Barnes leaving the sample table and limping over to a microscope.

"Well, yeah." said Hoofman looking at Thirteen, "like I said, we gave her a full work-up."

"Did that include her body weight or just the weight of her tail?" said Barnes as he limped with his back hoof off of the floor a noticeable five inches.

Hoofman just looked down, as he knew where this was going, and Derpy watched the interplay as an audience member of a poorly written medical drama.

"She's been here for six hours, so re-check her body mass for signs of rapid weight loss." said Barnes.

"I don't get it," said Thirteen, "what's the connection between her symptoms and weight loss?"

"Because Barnes thinks this is Viral Anemia." said Hoofman.

"Correct-a-mundo!" said Barnes sliding a specimen sample under the scope. "Or for those of you that are too busy suffering from 'my filly crotch yearns for other filly crotch', it's also known as Swamp Fever."

Thirteen just rolled her eyes at the lesbian jab.

Leaving to run their tests, Barnes called after them, "don't come back until she's either cured or dead." then turning to Derpy he asked, "are you always so polite around us medical professionals Agent Hooves?"

"Are you always such an asshole?"

"Agent Hooves, your pony cadaver has suffered an untimely demise as a result of asphyxiation made possible by a large rope constricting the air passage." Barnes reached beside him and tossed a freshly created medical report. "The victim's fur obstructed the bruising. Just like the other two cases."

"Son of a..." Derpy said chewing her lip, "I guess we have to report this to the Princess directly."

"I'm curious Agent Hooves." said Barnes observing the sunglasses on her face. "What happens when you cross your eyes?"

"I look just like Goldie Fawn." she said.

"That's hot," said Dr Barnes looking indifferent.

• • •

"These are perilous times Miss Ditzy." said Princess Celestia as she examined the medical report from Barnes. "Our scholars are all pointing to the heavens, saying there's some sort of cosmic level event-possibly very terrible-set to arrive in a matter of days, our last Winter Solstice festival was a debacle, two scheduled rains over the wheat-fields of White Plains were a failure; and now some crazed sociopath is killing ponies, and removing their cutie marks."

Princess Luna was reading over a copy of the report that Derpy submitted, and just listened carefully to the conversation. Glancing up only occasionally to watch as Celestia paced.

"With all due respect Highness," said Hooves. "I'd prefer if you didn't use my real name. I've never been entirely comfortable with the name Ditzy Doo."

"Surely you're joking." said Celestia as she guffawed slightly. "I'm not one to talk, but the Wranglers are not known for their inventiveness, and creativity. And besides, Derpy Hooves sounds like something a bunch of immature nerds in love with comic books made up." Celestia brought a hoof to her mouth, and snickered again, "you should have received a better codename child."

"It is what it is, Highness." said Derpy blushing a little at the teasing.

Thinking it over, Celestia finally made a decision. "We don't have the extra pony-power to spare for this one. Most of the agents are preoccupied with helping the historians research this Holocaust or whatever the scholars are calling it, so you are going to be on your own I'm afraid."

Derpy wasn't surprised, most of her assignments were solo, and she was used to as much.

"However." said Celestia, tapping the report with her hoof. "This matter needs resolution. I don't have to remind you about preserving the public safety of the like. Find whichever pony is responsible for these crimes and bring them to me, dead or alive."

"Yes your Highness." said Derpy bowing slightly, and turning to take her leave, but being stopped by Princess Luna.

"Agent Hooves." said Luna still frowning over the report. "Do your best to find what happened to the cutie marks, so that they can be returned to their owners. It isn't right that they must be sent to the afterlife without their brands."

Derpy nodded, understanding completely. The idea of a pony getting their cutie mark removed was the worst sort of insult that one could make.

• • •

_1 Day Before the Other World Gate Opens_  
>7:45am<p>

Derpy had arrived at her job at the Postal Service thirty minutes early, even though it was a cover job, and she was reluctantly forced to listen to ponies call her Ditzy, she found the available information invaluable.

Even thought she had to wear a facade pretending to be a doofus, the opportunity to keep an eye on the ponies in town was too good to pass up.

Derpy was busy pouring over the route names, and marking any changes in the past few weeks that seemed out of the ordinary.

Derpy looked up as a few ponies entered the office to clock in for the day, and went back to her scouring. She knew that things were not right in town, either in it, or outside of it.

"Morning Ditzy Doo." came a friendly voice from behind her.

Derpy turned to see Sunny Skies grinning at her with an amazingly bright smile. Despite the fact that Derpy was cockeyed, she was grateful for the fact that while undercover it made it impossibly difficult for ponies to read the expression in her eyes, and so playing the idiot was relatively easy. Provided of course she didn't scald herself in the tub, and get blind stinking drunk on corn-spirits later.

"Morning Sunny." said Derpy as she waved at her with one hand and pushed the residence list aside with the other.

"Whatcha got there?"

"The boss said to me, 'Ditzy, you need skill improvement.' and told me to memorize the routes again." Derpy was definitely going to need booze after today. She hated speaking to people like an idiot.

"Um, sweetie... that's the residence list." said Sunny Skies smiling flatly. "I think you've got the wrong one there."

Derpy just stuck her tongue out, and tapped her hoof on the top of her head, making the "I'm so silly" gesture.

With a few more minutes to go before the shift started a couple of additional Postal-Ponies entered and clocked in. Sunny Skies turned to greet them, and began asking a filly-worker named Twinkle Bright about her recent date.

Derpy felt a little disappointed that the residence list didn't reveal anything out of the ordinary, and neither had anything else. She felt like she was up against a wall, and the longer she delayed, the more time would be running out for some pony out there.

Working undercover made Derpy feel on edge; the excitement of the hunt, mingled with her own paranoia would eventually culminate into her seeing the ponies around her as the very villains she was out to catch.

"Alright ponies!" barked the dispatcher, "Get those sacks on and get those letters out of here!"

Derpy would use her mail route as an opportunity to get some thinking done. She walked over to get her mail-sack and as usual a fresh copy of her route, and walked past Twinkle and Sunny still going on about colts and dating.

"Oh yeah he's been spending a lot of time out at Sweet Apple Acres." said Twinkle as both she and Sunny Skies picked up their mail sacks.

"So that's why I haven't seen him around town yet." said Sunny to Twinkle, adjusting the strap length.

"Yeah, being from out of town he needed money, and you know that Applejack and Big Mac always need help with their orchards."

Derpy wanted to roll her eyes at the conversation, but figured it would be best to just feign ignorance as usual. As far as the rest of the fillies who knew her were concerned, she was too much of a simpleton to know a vagina was for anything other than bleeding and making pee.

Derpy couldn't even remember the last time another colt had even acknowledged her as a female, or let alone asked her out on a date.

_Oh fuck it!_ She thought to herself. _I wouldn't have time for a meaningful relationship even if I wanted one._

"Wow, you sure are lucky Twinkle." Derpy heard Sunny Skies say, "I would give anything for a tall dark and handsome stranger to wonder into town and sweep me off my hooves."

Derpy only caught the word stranger, and instantly turned around to watch as Sunny Skies got a running start and took to the air with her mail deliveries.

Trying to remember a conversation she was only half paying attention to, Derpy could only recall "Stranger", "Out of Town", and "Sweet Apple Acres".

Getting her mail sack, Derpy instantly dumped the whole thing upside down, and started rummaging through the letters.

"Dammit Ditzy!" yelled the dispatcher, as he rushed over to her and started helping her with the letters. "These are supposed to go in the mailboxes remember?"

After a few minutes, she saw a letter for Applejack, and sighed in relief. Now she had a legitimate excuse for venturing out to the orchards, and seeing if she could find something.

"I swear, you are going have me in therapy before this year is over." said the dispatcher as he swatted at her flank, "Now get!"

• • •

_11:09am_

Derpy figured it would be a better idea to save Applejack's letter for last, and then take it out there at her convenience. Surely no-pony would think it strange in the least, since Derpy was seldom running late with the mail, and often forgetting to deliver some outright.

Trotting along the road that lead to Sweet Apple Acres; Derpy started looking hard for signs of the new hire that Twinkle Bright had mentioned to Sunny Skies.

Carefully approaching the house, Derpy adjusted the mail bag, and placed the last letter in her teeth. She could only imagine how comical she looked as she trotted along with crossed eyes, and a crumpled letter in her teeth.

It wasn't common knowledge, that because of Derpy's misdirected gaze, she had the unique ability to focus on two places at once, and used this impairment as an augmentation.

As she glanced out across the fields, she was looking earnestly for any-pony that matched she didn't readily recognize from town.

She finally ended up at the door of the house, and rapped on it with her hoof. After a moment the door opened and Applejack answered with a smile and her typical "Howdy".

Derpy forced herself to remain in character as she simply stared at Applejack, and using her other eye focused on the new colt sitting at the table with them about to enjoy and early lunch.

"Why thank you Ditzy Doo." said Applejack reaching for the letter in her mouth. "But ya know, we do have a mailbox."

Derpy just cocked her head to one side and looked at Applejack for a beat or two. "It was only one letter." said Derpy, "no sense making you walk all that way."

"Why if y'all aren't the sweetest thing." said Applejack, "Would y'all like a bite to eat before y'all head back out there?"

"I'd love lunch." Derpy said sounding as famished as she could. She knew the hospitality was Applejack's best trait, and if she performed a kind turn, that Applejack would want to return it.

Stepping into the house, she only observed the back of the stranger pony at the table, and noticed that he had an odd cutie mark. A snare.

"Oh! This here is Trip Trap," said Applejack directing Derpy to the table. "He's from out of town, and been helpin' me an Big Mac around the farm."

"Oh, I see." Derpy said watching the pony as he merely nodded and took a huge bite of his flower sandwich.

She couldn't be positive, but there was something definitely odd about this Trip Trap pony. Derpy could feel it in her gut, and though she still had no concrete proof, he was still the best lead she had on this case.

The meal was awkward, as Trip Trap never really said much, Big Mac never said more than an occasional He'Yup!, and Applejack just went on about how she was needing to inspect the trees that were not producing like they should.

• • •

_1:51pm_

Sitting in her office at Wrangler Headquarters in Canterlot, Derpy poured over books of records, hoping to uncover some sort of criminal background Trip Trap may have, and so far there was nothing to be found on him, except his birth records and his previous work history.

Derpy was not opposed to doing what she referred to as _dust-work_, and on some small level it was still a necessary requirement of the hunt; she just didn't care for sitting still for long periods of time.

Following the Trip Traps trail of jobs, Derpy noticed that he had an unimpressive work history. Mostly gardening and shop work, but his last years worth of employment was non-existing, as if he merely bummed around instead of sticking with a place.

"Were have you been for the past year Trip Trap?" Derpy said frowning at the papers.

"Hey there Hooves." came the voice of Vapor Trail one of Derpy's fellow Agents.

She looked up from her desk and had to smile at the sight of him covered in dust and cobwebs.

"I see you've been helping the Princess with her cosmic research." said Derpy making a note in her file.

"Yeah well, at least it gets me out of this cramped office." said Vapor rubbing his hoof over his face to get rid of some of the webs. "Only it puts me in a darker dustier cramped space."

Derpy shook her head and looked back at the files.

"Rumor has it that you've got that cutie mark cutter case." said Vapor walking over and taking a peek at her desk contents. "Heard it was some serious stuff."

"If you're fishing Agent Trails, then you should know me well enough by now to know, that I never bite." Derpy looked back up at him and winked. "Unless of course, there's something in it for me."

"Hmm..." Vapor Trails feigned ignorance for a moment, "you aren't by chance talking about the reason Princess Celestia has gone bat-shit obsessed over some ancient parchments and star gazing are you?"

"Spill it Trails!" Derpy said closing her file and sliding it across the desk toward him.

"Excellent!" he said tossing a hoof over the file. "Celestia heard rumor about a month or two ago of some calamity predicted by the stars or some signs or something."

"So, always being the first one to believe anything those old soap-sacks tell her, Celestia began having her scholars dig in the archives for some-quote unquote-hard evidence." Trails flipped open Derpy's file and looked inside briefly. "Apparently after discovering some really old info about Equestria, and some fabled legendary hero, she went looney, locked herself in her chambers for a week, and then comes out, and demands that every agent-of course we would never tell right?-go dig through every page of the library's oldest section."

"Really?" said Derpy listening intently.

"Yeah," said Trails "is this the suspect?" he sad tapping his hoof over the picture of Trip Trap.

"Uh-huh, you were saying about the library."

"Right. So we've been ordered, ORDERED mind you to report anything we find referencing or directly related to, Guardians, Wars, Humans, and Portals." Trails glanced around, and then leaned in close to her. "Apparently one of the other agents discovered a false book, you know one of those hollowed out jobs with a key on the inside of it."

"So, what does all this mean?" asked Derpy.

"Hell if I know. But I know that whatever it is, cannot be good."

After a few more minutes Vapor Trails left to resume his searching in the library, and Derpy went back to work on her case.

Behind her on the wall was a cork-board filled with pictures from the scenes of the crimes. Each victim had their cutie mark removed after they were strangled to death.

Next to the pictures of the bodies, were pictures of the pony's cutie marks, or in the case of Lucky Clover, a drawing.

Derpy knew that the only thing that linked the killings was the cutie marks. Each of the three victims didn't know each other, they had no connection through trade, or land or work.

Walking away from her desk, Derpy went to the refreshment stand in the main area of the HQ, and poured a cup of black coffee.

She poured in some sugar, and noticed that the brand of sugar was Crystal Water Sugar, and the logo was of a glass of water with a spoon pouring granulated sugar into it.

Turning to look back at her cutie mark, Derpy had a realization, and charged back to the cork-board.

"Okay,"she said taking a marker in her teeth and circling the first victim's cutie mark. "You are Jumping Jack, and your cutie mark is a red candle, and your occupation is woodcutter."

Moving to the next victim, Derpy circled the cutie mark, "Miss Lickity Split, with an ice cream scoop for a cutie mark, and your occupation is novelist."

Looking close at the cork-board, Derpy circled the last victim's cutie mark.

"Lucky Clover. A waiter, with a four-leaf clover cutie mark."

Stepping back away from the board, Derpy was understanding the connection between the three victims. Each of them had abandoned their talent in favor of something else.

Derpy glanced again at her own cutie mark, and remembered when she got hers, and how much she wanted to follow after her hidden talent, but then later learned that life takes sudden and unexpected turns. Her choice to abandon her calling was still a freedom that she could afford, though there were always puritans that followed the firm belief that once a pony obtained their mark they were required to forever follow in that vein of occupation.

"You're teaching them a lesson aren't you? You bastard!"

Leaving her office, Derpy headed to the Canterlot library and poured over a bunch of books about cutie marks and cutie mark lore. She knew that there was something exceptionally peculiar about Trip Trap's mark, but if she was going to pin him for the murders, then she had to first establish a motive, then place him at the scene of each crime.

According to the lore, all cutie marks appear as a special branding on the flank of a pony upon revelation of their inner calling. The marks are divine in nature and are impossible to duplicate or to simulate, either through magic or physical markings. While each cutie mark is relatively unique, there are characteristics of similarity, and a pony's mark may fall within a specific category.

In times past, ponies would have their fortunes predicted by the traits of their marks, in conjunction with their astronomical signs. This depended on two key things: where their marks landed as a core in the four elements, and what category of persona they characterized.

The _Compactum of Branding_ consists of three tiers. The first tier called "Element" mandated the core role of each mark, represented by Fire, Water, Earth, or Wind. The second tier called "Rank" determines the position that a mark would hold within their element from negative to positive. And lastly, the third tier called "Order" would correlate the mark to a specific emotional harmony of either positive or negative.

In frustration, Derpy slammed the book closed, and shoved it away from her. If it wasn't for the fact that her eyes were already crossed, they'd be spinning in confusion. Most scholars could spend their entire lives trying to understand Cutie Mark lore, and still never know everything there was to know about it.

Derpy knew enough to know that cutie marks could represent either positive or negative aspects of a pony's inner talents. And even though most of the ponies in Equestria had a positive mark, she was sure there were those that could receive a cutie mark of a very dark and negative order.

Based on her limited understanding of the charts, and the interpretation of the symbols, Derpy could still easily place Trip Trap's mark into a very negative corner of all three tiers. It could very well be that his inner talent was murder.

• • •

_7:15am_  
>3 Hours Remaining<p>

Derpy had very little sleep the night before. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her hair was disheveled. She could feel the long hard tug of obsession creeping in. Her drive and need to solve things, to bring resolution to the crime, to uncover the truth about the mystery.

Her own true talent was nothing close to the career she chose. As far removed as daylight and dark they were.

It was already two full days, and Derpy knew like any good investigator, that once a case has gone past forty-eight hours, it begins a fast decline into the realms of the cold cases, and unsolvable territory.

She had spent the rest of yesterday trying to follow Trip, and had saw him only once passing near Fluttershy's gardens, then he vanished. She wasn't positive, but everything in her told her that he was moving on from Ponyville, and that if she didn't take her game up a notch, he would be gone into the wilds of either Everfree Forest, or beyond the ranges into the frontier lands.

Since Derpy had today off from the Post Office, she tossed her hair back, and splashed her face with cool water to wake herself up. She figured she would get started back on the case; certainly there were more things she was overlooking.

Flying into Canterlot not long after, she went into the Wrangler Headquarters and noticed that almost all the other agents were back at work, and no longer helping with the archive work for Celestia.

"Hey Trails!" Derpy called out as the other pony was sipping a cup of coffee in the lounge.

"Hey Derpy, what's new?" he said looking tired, and wobbling on his feet.

"I guess the Princess found everything she was looking for?" Derpy whispered to him reaching past to make herself a cup of coffee.

"Not really," he said glancing around. "It was the damnedest thing. We spent almost all night digging and writing and copying, and then sometime around four this morning, Princess Luna bursts in and tells us all to shove out, that they have enough information for the time being. Then she tells us to be here for duty at Headquarters like normal."

"I hate it when they give us orders without understanding what we're doing." Derpy said adding sugar to her black coffee. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's our duty to follow orders without question; it's just that sometimes I'd like to know what the hell I'm taking heat for, and why things are happening."

Trails just nodded his assertion as he sipped his coffee. "Well needless to say, I'm one tired pony." he said. "I doubt if the world were to suddenly suffer some disaster I'd be in much shape to do anything about it."

"Hey, has Candycane made it in this morning yet?" asked Derpy testing her cup of coffee for the proper amount of sweet.

"I think so," said Trails, "she usually gets here early."

"Thanks." said Derpy. "I need to examine the evidence again."

Once inside the evidence room, Derpy found the box marked "Lucky Clover", and removed it to a table for exploring the contents.

Inside the box, placed in plastic bags, was all the evidence from the crime scene. Derpy took them out and laid them carefully in front of her.

Hoof-prints, molds, a piece of cut rope, and several photos of the crime scene before and after the body was removed for examination.

Picking up the plastic bag with the rope in it, Derpy's mind thought back to Trip Trap's cutie mark, and how it was a snare-a small box with a stretch of rope across it.

"I've got you!" said Derpy finally putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

_9:04am_  
>1 Hour Remaining<p>

Running almost as fast as she could Derpy entered the Canterlot Hospital and raced along the corridors and hallways till she found Doctor Barnes's office and rapped loudly on the door.

There was a loud "Go Away!" from the other side, and she burst in.

Barnes was sitting in a reclining chair behind his desk listening to a record of classical music play on a low volume. "I said I didn't want any!" he bellowed with huge eyes.

"Was there anything out of the ordinary about any of the victims' hooves?" said Derpy out of breath.

"Go away!" he said turning the volume on the player up louder.

Derpy slapped the needle off of the record with an annoying scratching noise, and slammed a hoof on Barnes's desk. "Answer the question!"

"Can you read anything with that eye condition of yours or are you just stupid? Of course there were things wrong with their hooves; they each had one dislocated at the sockets, which I put into each and every one of my reports."

Then why was only one hoof dislocated, and three hooves bruised?" asked Derpy.

"If their front hooves were tied together, and they struggled to get the ropes off, then why is their back hoof the only one that is dislocated?" asked Derpy posing a new riddle to Barnes.

Barnes got a funny look in his eyes. "You're right, they were struggling with their front hooves, and none of them were dislocated, they were just bruised from the struggle. Only the back hoof, and that would mean that some serious force was used to pull the joints apart."

"Would their body weight do it?" she asked.

"Well yeah, easily. But why in the hell would they be hanging by their hooves?" he asked as Derpy placed a drawing of a rope snare on his desk.

"I'll be a son of a bitch." said Barnes bewildered.

Derpy wasted no time. She flew as fast as she could from the hospital to Ponyville, and landed at a dead run. She wasn't concerned about her appearance, or what others thought, or even if she was blowing her cover wide open. Her focus was on solving this case, and as she burst through the door of the general store, she felt a small tremble under feet.

Pulling the plastic baggie with the cut rope in it out of her sack, Derpy walked along the back wall of the store comparing the one in the bag with the ones on the spools.

Derpy found it. A triple woven natural fiber robe, it was unique in that it was hand woven.

Going up to the counter Derpy asked if Trip Trap had already bought the rope, or if she should get more.

"Trip Trap?" asked the clerk, "Oh right. That new colt out at the Apple Farm. No he came in yesterday and bought about twenty foot of rope."

"Darn." said Derpy, "Guess I made a trip here for nothing."

Derpy stepped outside of the store, and heard a voice in her ear. It was a smaller sound-stone the Wranglers used for undercover work.

"Agent Hooves do you copy?" came the voice again.

Looking around for a place to reply, Derpy ducked around the back of the shop. "What the hell is it?" she barked after touching the stone in her ear.

"All agents are to report to Wrangler Headquarters per Princess Celestia's orders."

"What!"

Derpy was about to protest the order, when there was a stronger shaking under her feet, and this time, there was no mistaking that it was a mild earthquake.

• • •

"I'm afraid the orders stand Agent Hooves." said Princess Luna. "All agents are to remain on alert at Wrangler Headquarters until further notice by either Princess Celestia or myself."

"Maybe you don't understand what I'm telling you Princess, but I have learned the identity of the killer, and if I don't make my arrest soon, we will lose him into the forest or the wilds!"

There was more shaking and Derpy had to steady herself. "What the hell is going on around here?"

"That'll be all Special Agent." said Luna turning to walk away.

"Like hell it is!" she yelled. "You Royal Princesses are always doing this! You make bizarre demands, we don't ask why! You order us to find murderers and criminals and keep it a secret. We don't question it! But I'll be damned if we can overlook these earthquakes as nothing important!"

Luna was backed into a corner, and raised her hoof at Derpy when Celestia entered the chamber and shouted, "ENOUGH!"

"Agent Hooves." said Celestia as she stormed in. "You will obey our orders, and return to Headquarters at once. There is a state of emergency underway, and the safety of the ponies in this city and the surrounding cities depend on us keeping our focus!"

Derpy was angry. Beyond that, she was thoroughly pissed off.

"There is a time and place for things, and as much as it pains me to have you abandon your search for the killer, things are progressing far faster than we ever expected them to." Princess Celestia placed a hoof on Derpy's shoulder. "Trust me Ditsy." she said.

Slapping the hoof off of her shoulder, Derpy turned her back to them both, and walked toward the door as another earthquake shook the countryside, causing every-pony to brace themselves. "Fine. I'll trust you." she said, "But the next time you call me Ditsy, I'm going to kick your ass."

**Author's Note:**  
><em>This story is part of the Guardian of Equestria Continuum, and its conclusion is presented in a chapter of that saga.<em>

_Several things worth noting in this story are Doctor Barnes and his staff, which are based on TV's "House M.D.", the mention of several actual equine diseases, including "Viral Anemia" which is very similar to "Lyme Disease", and the introduction of what I refer to as "Cutie Mark Lore". A subject of my own invention, but a method of understanding the literally thousands of various brands the ponies have on them._

_I hope that this story entertains you, and that you explore this world more fully in "The Guardian of Equestria", currently available, with new chapters being released as fast as I can write them._

_Thanks._


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